My Answer: Puzzled by aunt’s funeral indulgence

Q: Everyone in our family knows my aunt and uncle had a very stormy relationship. But when my uncle suddenly died a few weeks ago, my aunt spent lavishly on the funeral — expensive casket, beautiful flowers, etc. Why did she do this? Was she trying to make us think she actually loved him? — Mrs. P.C.

A: No one knows, of course, what was going on in your aunt’s mind; she may not have known herself. After all, our motives aren’t always obvious, even to ourselves. The Psalmist said, “Who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults” (Psalm 19:12).

I can’t help but wonder, however, if her reaction was caused — at least in part — by a combination of guilt and regret. As your aunt looked back, she may have realized that their lives could have been happier if she had only tried harder. If so, she may have felt guilty over the past and hoped somehow that a lavish funeral might make up for it (although it wouldn’t).

It also may have been a way to express regret for all the years that are now lost and can never be recovered. In addition, since your uncle’s death was sudden, she may feel an extra burden of regret because she had no opportunity to say she was sorry or express love.

Don’t be too harsh on your aunt. Whatever happened in the past, she’s lonely now and needs your love and compassion. More than that, she needs to discover the depth of God’s love for her, and open her heart and life to all that Christ can do for her.

Ask God to help you and others in your family reach out to your aunt with Christ’s mercy and love. And treasure the family God has given you, so you’ll never look back with guilt or regret.

*

Q: I’m afraid I’ve caught an STD (sexually transmitted disease) and I’m scared. What should I do? If I pray hard enough, will it go away? No one told me this might happen. — C.K.

A: My heart goes out to you because you’ve apparently been deceived into believing the lie that sexual promiscuity is cost-free. But it simply isn’t true, regardless of what some celebrities say. Sexual immorality always comes at a price. When we break God’s moral standards, they eventually end up breaking us.

You admittedly face some hard decisions in the days ahead, but I pray you’ll have the courage to make them. First, stop what you’ve been doing. You’ll only make things worse, for yourself and for others, if you don’t. Then get medical help without delay. Nothing will be gained by avoiding this, and you actually could end up hurting yourself for the rest of your life.

And even if you test negative for an STD, I pray you won’t think it’s a free pass to go back to your old way of living. God’s word couldn’t be clearer: “It is God’s will ... that you should avoid sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3).

The most important thing you can do, however, is to pray — not that God will somehow take this away, but to receive Jesus Christ into your life. God loves you. He loves you so much that his son was willing to die so your sins could be forgiven.

Commit your life to Jesus Christ today. It’s the most important decision you will ever make.

Then seek out a church where you can grow spiritually, and find people who can help and encourage you. Currently you’re on a dead-end road, but with Christ your future can be bright.

(Send your queries to “My Answer,” c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Assn., 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM; or visit the website: https://www.billygraham.org.)