THE HARBOR COLUMN:Captain’s log for 2007

Ahoy.

The new year is here and I foresee goods things ahead. Also, I hope that by the time you are reading my column that Newport Beach sailor Ken Barnes will be aboard a Chilean ship. If you have not heard, Barnes was attempting to sail around the world, but his sailboat is disabled 500 miles off the Chilean coast. Unlike past sailors, however, he has a satellite phone that allows him to call for help. I do not have the desire to round Cape Horn, as I have experienced the rounding of Point Conception in the worst of the worst, but the Horn is even less forgiving. Let’s hope for the best.

I know that you have been waiting for my annual 2007 New Year’s Captain’s Log — past to future — and I wish everyone a Happy New Year!

Captain’s Log:

Time — 0001 Uniform Time, Date Jan. 1, 2007

This year’s voyage, we have set course from Honolulu to Newport Harbor aboard a new mega-yacht while a fierce storm has surrounded our part of the ocean. Our radar shows that we are all alone as we approach San Nicolas Island.

Glancing at the security monitors on the bridge, I can see my crew members cheering in the new year not noticing the sea conditions, thanks to the yacht’s computerized stabilizers.

But, all of a sudden, a nameless ghostly cruise ship edges in on a very close parallel course.

I can hear the New Year’s celebrations aboard the ship, so I try to peer through their porthole. It looks as though the glass reflects New Year’s celebrations past aboard an ancient wood-planked sailboat with very uninviting accommodations.

I see the captain trying to steer the large, round wooded wheel as he fights each pass swell while watching a crude compasses and reading hand-drawn charts that resemble worn treasure maps. Also, I can see the crew cheering in the new year with mugs of rum poured from barrels. Someone is playing a fiddle.

Oops, I almost hit the side of the cruise ship.

I correct my course and check my electronics. Once again, I glance in the porthole, where now I can see what looks like the reflection of New Year’s future.

A futuristic, multi-hull yacht pierces through the rough swells, and I can see the enclosed decks featuring five-star accommodations. The captain touches flat display panels to control everything on the vessel. A 3-D display shows systems, communication, charts, radar and much more that appears to be floating in the air.

Also, the captain uses voice commands to the completely computerized vessel.

In lieu of the fiddle for entertainment, the crew listens to the Boathouse Radio Show on satellite radio while the chef prepares an eight-course meal.

Hey, is that a — oops, I almost skimmed the side of the cruise ship again.

I am suddenly awakened from my nap when I hear the Global Positioning System chart plotter beeping a warning that I am nearing the harbor entrance. I glance from the bridge’s soft leather couch to see my first officer standing his watch. I know we are getting close to the harbor as I can see the lights on the high-rises at Newport Center out of the bridge windows.

As I rise to take the conns to enter the harbor, I cannot stop dreaming about that cruise ship — was it past, present or reality?

End Captain’s Log:

“All safe, yacht is securely moored at home slip in Newport Harbor.”

I can imagine that 2007 will bring new innovations and new boaters onto the waters, where I hope we welcome the past, present and future.

Remember, this Saturday my radio show, “Capt. Mike Whitehead’s Boathouse Radio Show,” airs on KLAA-AM (830) from noon to 1 p.m. So do not miss the show, and tune in to the No. 1 boating talk show in the nation blasting with 50,000 watts to Southern California.