Everyone in L.A. has a business card...

Everyone in L.A. has a business card . . . “Even the homeless,” points out Anabel Aispuro, who enclosed a card for a company called “Homeless Recycling,” which specializes in picking up glass and can items. “We do parties,” the card adds.

We still weren’t convinced until we received the calling card of Emma Chase Collins in the mail. Her card listed her address on Wellington Road in the Lafayette Square area of L.A. And it gave her title as:

“Baby.”

Ms. Collins, who is 8 weeks old, listed a telephone as well as a fax number. What--no car phone?

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Radio wars: A KFWB radio anchorman, in a promo of one news segment, announced Monday morning that a group of scientists was trying to determine “why some people are geniuses and some people wind up like Tom Leykis.”

We wonder what Leykis, the outspoken talk-show host on KMPC, will say about KFWB’s apparent switch to a new format: Some jokes, some of the time.

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No dueling affections here: Spotted on the Westside--an automobile with a license plate that said, H8 MY X. The car also carried a bumper sticker that declared: “I My Parrot.”

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A job you wouldn’t wish on your X: Mae Woods of Studio City noticed a job opening for a secretary who evidently is not only expected to handle the mail load, but create it.

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Please, no jokes about the glare bouncing off his head: The first set of excerpts from prospective juror questionnaires in the you-know-what case included this observation by a Whittier security company dispatcher about O.J. Simpson lead attorney Robert Shapiro:

“Balding in back of head.”

We hope Shapiro drew strength from the fact that last Friday was National Bald is Beautiful Day.

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Attn. creative bookkeepers: “I always thought there was such a thing,” mused Steve Shirley of Sierra Madre, who came upon a catalogue item for people who wish to inflate claims.

It reminds us of the story told by Will Fowler in “Reporters” about his father, Gene, a onetime star Hearst reporter. Sent to cover the search for three Navy balloonists who had crashed in the Canadian wilderness, Fowler hired a private railroad car and spent a lot of time losing money at poker.

To help offset his gambling losses, the elder Fowler concocted a story about buying a (nonexistent) dog team, which required medical expenses for the brave lead dog, who had fathered pups and eventually, tragically, died.

When the Hearst controller found $60 of his advance money still unaccounted for, Fowler scribbled a note to the accountant that said:

Flowers for bereaved bitch, $60.

miscelLAny Call it Dirty Harry 101--the Los Angeles Gun Club on East 6th Street advertises in the Daily Trojan, “USC beginners: Free brief safety instruction. One hour range time free with purchase of center fire ammunition. Minimum 100 reloads.”