A Handy Man Helps Hatch a Dandy Plan

Pat Sullivan of the San Francisco Chronicle recalls the time senior golf tour player Walter Zembriski was doing odd jobs between appearances on the Florida mini-tours.

“One day at a posh club, two hotshots showed up looking for a game,” Sullivan writes. “An astute club member suckered the wise guys.

“‘I’ll take that guy over there,’ he said, pointing to Zembriski, who, at the time, was up on a ladder slinging a paintbrush. “Guess who won.”

Trivia time: What is the Pacific 10 record for most points by a losing football team? NFL live: A fox that recently suffered amputation of its left foreleg after being struck by a golf ball is back roaming the El Dorado Park course in Long Beach.

Inspired by the NFL’s new affiliation with the Fox network, the veterinarians named the three-legged critter “NFL”--No Front Leg.

Money matter: Peter Gammons in the Boston Globe: “The (baseball) owners are trying to find a bank that will give them a $100-million line of credit (where’s Billie Sol Estes when they need him?).”

Welcome: David Letterman on the U.S.-Cuba agreement: “The U.S. will now accept 20,000 Cuban refugees every year--provided they can play baseball and don’t care about a salary cap.”

Stumblebum?A few weeks ago, Jim Harbaugh of the Indianapolis Colts scrambled for 41 yards against the Cleveland Browns, the second-longest quarterback run in Colt history.

Harbaugh was looking forward to watching the run on film, but it was a letdown.

“I thought to myself, ‘Who is that bumbling idiot?’ ” he said. “I stumbled down the field, but that’s the way it is.”

Sob guy: Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post on Maryland football Coach Mark Duffner: “I love this guy; he cries when he wins, he cries when he loses. If I ever go to do a summation in court, I want Duffner on the jury.

“What do they watch in the film room at College Park, ‘Terms of Endearment?’ ”

Just wondering: Mike Ditka, responding to rumors that Jimmy Johnson might be the next NFL coach in Miami, San Francisco, Houston, Philadelphia, Denver or Tampa Bay:

“I want to know how Johnson is going to coach six teams next year.”

You said it: Arizona Cardinal Coach Buddy Ryan: “I think with me, what you see is what you get. But some people don’t like what they see.”

Sharp team: In the unique nickname department, how about the Scottish Claymores, one of six teams that will play in the World League of American Football next year.

As everyone knows, a claymore is a large, double-edged sword formerly used by Scottish Highlanders.

Trivia answer: Washington scored 49 points in losing to California, 54-49, in 1973.

Quotebook: New York Ranger center Sergei Nemchinov on the NHL lockout: “This wouldn’t happen in Russia.”