When It Comes to Maturity, These Coaches Are Peewees

Two youth football coaches in Pennsylvania, Paul K. Eby, 37, and David A. Witcoskie, 46, have been suspended for a year for fighting.

They began punching each other as their players lined up to shake hands after a game.

The “role models” coach flag football in a league for 6- and 7-year-old boys.

*

Trivia time: Who holds the Ram record for the longest run from scrimmage?

*

Do something: Michael Wilbon in the Washington Post on Anfernee Hardaway’s holdout with the Orlando Magic:

“He still hasn’t won anything. Not an NCAA title, not an NBA title. Didn’t get to the Final Four, hasn’t been to the NBA conference finals. Hasn’t even won an NBA playoff game yet.”

*

Not so fast: The New England Patriots’ Drew Bledsoe is only in his second season as an NFL quarterback, but Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy is already comparing him to Boston sports icons:

“He is Larry Bird in shoulder pads. He is Bobby Orr, without ice, with good knees.”

With three interceptions in a 21-17 loss to the Raiders on Sunday, Bledsoe’s canonization is on hold.

*

Spotlight: With the major league baseball season canceled and the NHL season postponed, the Steelers are the only professional sports team in Pittsburgh with a season.

“Writers are going to start picking on us more, writing articles that are pretty much ridiculous to fill space,” defensive tackle Jeff Zgonina told Paul Meyer of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

“Look at you. You’re interviewing me .”

*

Hazardous: Bob Hope once wrote in the Saturday Evening Post of former President Gerald Ford’s erratic drives in golf:

“Whenever I play with him, I usually try to make it a foursome--Ford, me, a paramedic and a faith healer.”

*

Give it a try: San Diego Charger Coach Bobby Ross on his reputation for being more conservative off the field than on:

“I’m not going to dress like Elvis Presley or anything like that.”

*

Boo hoo: Don Beaupre, Washington Capital goaltender, on the NHL’s labor dispute: “I feel like Chevy Chase in that ‘Vacation’ movie. We’re all ready to go to Wally World, and Wally World is closed.”

*

FYI: A survey by World Features Syndicate indicates that 44 Division I-A schools are nicknamed for animals and 37 for humans. Birds are third at 14.

*

Trivia answer: Kenny Washington, 92 yards for a touchdown against the Chicago Cardinals in 1946.

*

Quotebook: Lou Whitaker, Detroit Tiger infielder, on his arrival at a players union meeting in a stretch limousine: “I’m rich. What am I supposed to do, hide it?”