A Cluck of Sympathy

A spokescreature for Empire Kosher Poultry is quoted as saying, “Above all, the tax-paying American must remember buck, buck buck buck receipts, buck buck buck, buck buck, oh yes and buccckk buck buck.” In short, for the second straight year, Empire offers a consolation: If your tax return gets audited, send a copy of the audit notice to H & R Chicken, c/o Empire Kosher Poultry, P.O. 165, Mifflintown, Pa. 17059, and they’ll send you a chicken. And if you pass the audit without owing any further money, they’ll send you a kosher turkey. (Good luck, pally.)